Queefing
So girls, how often do you fanny fart during sex? Come on now- do we cover it up? Pretend it’s a bum pop? Cough really loudly? Does your partner let out a little pleasure moan at the sound? Fanny farts or queefing as it’s so aptly named, happens when air gets trapped in your vaginal canal.
Now, I’ve read a lot of contradicting and shocking articles- usually written by someone who has never owned a vagina before- over the sexual activities of the female population. Ever the feminist, I was a little taken a back by the ‘queef prevention’ methods I have read. Yes- you read that right- queef prevention. Preventing fanny farts.
It’s Simply Science.
Now some women queef all the time and some not at all. Some positions simply allow more air inside the vagina than others. It’s science. Completely natural. Let’s also be frank here; it’s not just sex that causes fanny farts is it. Ever had a fanny fart escape during an exercise class? How embarrassing.
Doggy does it for me. Recently we were having the most amazing time in bed. We’ve found the best sex toy for clitoral stimulation- The Oriel Vibrating Play Wand. The smooth surface is so soft you just can’t keep your hands off it and my god it feels heavenly against your clit. If you’ve ever had an orgasm when you got carried away with one of those muscle massager guns then let me tell you- you want to try this. Anyway, it was a real passionate session, we wanted each other so badly. He flipped me over onto my hands and knees and penetrated from behind whilst using the wand against my lady parts. As I orgasmed for the millionth time that evening, he came hard inside me.
Now you know them real passionate sessions where you’re both left panting and looking all hot and sexy? Yeah- like that. Except; as I turned over to sit on my bum, I let out the most enormous fanny pop I have ever heard in my life! Like a real wet bum fart- pop pop pop. Totally ruining the moment but my god was it hilarious. We laughed so hard my belly ached for an hour after and you know what- It was intimate, funny and natural- exactly what our relationship is built on.
Prevention or acceptance?
Now I’ll tell you why I’m pissed at companies such as Durex writing about prevention. It’s like society is telling you that you should be embarrassed by your normal bodily functions.
No.
Of course, it’s human nature to feel embarrassed, and like every other emotion we all experience it differently. But please learn to accept yourself. Don’t avoid sex positions just because you’re trying to prevent queefing- do it and bloody enjoy it! I mean, when I’m on top, a fanny fart gives Mr C. extra sensations- just saying.
If you’re the person that is anxious about queefing let me ask you this- if you do not love yourself for who you are, then how can you teach someone else how you wish to be loved?
Love yourself first. Accept your body first. Fanny farts and all.
Note- If queefing is ever painful or is accompanied by other symptoms then please do seek medical advice.
First published by Vicky Crone on 23rd March 2022